Fortunately, it’s easy to build a lean-to. All you need are a few sticks and a tarp. It’s not like, say, building a lasting relationship. That’s apparently impossible. Just find a large rock and lean some sticks against it. Throw the tarp over them. That should keep you safe. At least until you get a text from your girlfriend, Kate, telling you that it’s over, because “you don’t have your shit together.” What does that even mean? Cover the tarp with leaves.
Getting Your Bearings
Look for moss. In the northern hemisphere, moss grows mostly on the north side of trees. See, I’m not directionless. I have a life plan. I’m writing this survival article, on spec, and then I’m going to go to culinary school. Or maybe I’ll invent something for “Shark Tank.” It doesn’t matter. I’m only thirty-two. If you can’t find moss, follow the stars or something.
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